May 2012
32 posts
4 tags
i am having a mental breakdown over a toad
twistedand-numb:
I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely....
Woman v. The Government
Woman: I cannot afford to have a child right now. Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant but I cannot afford to have a child and I'm not ready to be a parent. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I had the child, but I cannot afford to raise him. Will you help me out?
Government: No.
Woman: I guess I'll have to give my child up for adoption.
Barry and Steve: We would love to raise your child. We have been in a committed relationship for 15 years. We have steady careers and are very successful and financially stable. We love children and wish to provide a loving nurturing environment for your child. Would you be willing to give your child to us?
Woman: Sure, as long as it's ok with the government.
Government: No.
When you're in class and someone asks you for a... →
wowfunniestposts:
happy pills available here
1 tag
2 tags
holy fuck i haven't been on here in forever
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prom is tonight :)
let the crazy pre-prom festivities begin, ha. but really. so much to do. SO MUCH.
April 2012
49 posts
romeo: hey i just met you.
romeo: and this is crazy.
romeo: but i saw you at your dad's party that i wasn't supposed to attend and i thought you were pretty cute so i followed you and we kissed but then your nanny called you away and i found out you were a capulet and got bummed so i sneaked into your back yard in the middle of the night and climbed your balcony uninvited to profess my undying love after an hour even though i wanted to bone rosaline like two scenes ago.
romeo: so marry me maybe.
i have officially booked my disney world excursion...
fgkjhsadkghsadgas. so excited. i can’t even.
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